tis better

Is it better to give, or receive?

This question pops up a lot in December conversations.  Often we say we love giving, but pair that statement with the rhetorical, "What do you give the person who has everything?"  Surely some say "'it's better to receive," in quaint honestly, but we all recognize 'tis the season of giving, right? 

This time of year is about generosity... find just the perfect gift for each person on our list... make the most of our budget... give to those in need.  If we trust the marketing and casual conversation, Christmas, or "the holidays," really are all about giving.  Even in spiritual circles, we're given "The Wise Men" as examples - bringing things of great worth to Jesus.  Shine yourself up and purchase something grand.  Bring your best, give your best, because 'tis better to give.

But Christmas, at its core, isn't about giving.  At least, it's not about our gifts.  In fact, if you want to see what God thinks of our gifts to Him, look here...

I think we like giving because it allows us to think of ourselves as the people who have everything.  I've heard a lot of people tell me, "I really don't need anything."  We recognize we are full... cluttered... overwhelmed... with the stuff we've already given ourselves.  We believe there is nothing we need that we can't provide for ourselves.  We sound altruistic when we talk about those "in need," but listen closer and you may hear the tones of arrogance and pride under some generous phrases.

So it may surprise you that I'm not writing about "relational giving,: or giving "experiences instead of stuff," or any other catch-phrase of the season.  I'm writing to challenge you to receive.  Truly, truly receive.  

Because this is the season of receiving.  

No matter how much we'd like to make it all about what we give - our money, our craftiness, our time, even our hearts - it's not.  It's about something we cannot give.  We weren't even enlightened enough or honest enough to ask for it in advance.  It takes humility and a broken heart to even ask for it, and most of us don't want to look at our broken heart or humble ourselves.  However, this is the greatest Gift.  There is one Gift for everyone who will recognize they cannot earn it, they cannot reciprocate, they cannot find it elsewhere or make it for themselves.  

They - we - can only receive... and celebrate.

Yes, 'tis probably easier to give, but better to receive.  Make room in your home... your workplace... your schedule... your heart.  Receive the Gift - a savior, a king, a teacher, a friend.  

let your light so shine

The house was exactly what we wanted. The neighborhood looked fantastic - neighbors were out playing with their children, and homes were kept in a way that said, "I like living here." Our realtor showed us through the home, and we knew it was the right place. As we started to drive away, we noticed the next-door neighbor's house didn't fit. It was in dire disrepair, appearing nearly abandoned, with an old car parked (or rather, set) in the driveway. I commented that it was either a drug-infested rental, or an elderly person unable to keep up on their home. We hoped it was the latter.

Oddly, it did not deter us. Other places like that had kept us away. The unknown, the possible risk, the ugliness unmasked... we were like many home buyers who wanted appearances to matter. In this case, by God's grace, it did not matter, because that was meant to be our neighbor.

Beautiful Mary lives next door in that house. She's lived there since since 1961. Her husband's parents lived there before them, and when her beloved passed away her son gave her a dog for companionship. Years later, a younger dog, Gracie, and a couple cats keep Mary company, as do the neighbors. Neighbors mow the yard and take care of the plants as best we can. Friends pick up her groceries - canned dog food (chunks, not ground), cases of pepsi, fresh pies. Treats and dinners are carted over to fill in her meal options. Neighbors sit with her on the porch and watch the sidewalk activities throughout summer, and little boys ride up to her front door to ring bicycle bells and shout "Hi Mary!" She likes to be independent, but she receives help graciously. She is a beautiful piece of our neighborhood.

I had planned to get a wreath for Mary when I got ours this week. We got back from church on Sunday to see that somebody else beat us to it. Many neighbors spent the afternoon hanging lights and putting up decorations, and the first one done hurried over to Mary's to hang a colored strand across the front of her porch. The extension cord reaches across property, to make sure she can enjoy the festive look without adding to her electricity bill. When I looked out at this neighbor, generously giving his time to let Mary enjoy some of the beauty of lights, I nearly cried at the joy of living in such a place. When Mary came out and saw it, she did cry. Overwhelmed, she just kept saying that that we (all of us) were too kind, too good, too much.

If I didn't know them better, I'd give those neighbors a giant award for their kindness and generosity. They made Mary's day... week... Christmas season. I do know them, though, and I know that serving others is just what they do. I also know that others in the neighborhood were jumping to help, to be part of blessing Mary. It was a moment - one of many we've had here - of setting out lights in each others' lives.

Some people don't think much of our neighborhood. Some write about our urban area with disdain, carrying prejudices and focusing on problems. Many choose to live somewhere "nicer" or "safer" or "better" or "more beautiful," though appearances rarely match reality. I don't know that we've ever lived someplace better, and there is a rare beauty in our neighborhood. This is a place where love thrives.

As we anticipate and prepare for Christmas, we want to keep our focus. I think our neighbors helped with that this weekend.

"let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

o christmas tree

My mom is a true pioneer woman.  She hunts every autumn (seriously - we're eating venison thanks to Nani).  She grinds her own whole wheat flour to make bread.  She... let's just say I could (and maybe will) write an entire post about her many pioneering attributes.  The true irony is that she's spent a lifetime of dancing and teaching ballet.

 

I admit I'm no pioneer woman, but every once in a while I want to be like that.  This year, our family decided to take advantage to living in an area known for its evergreens. Imagine a first for us: tree hunting with saw in hand, bounding through snow to a glorious spot.  Finding our Christmas tree deep in the forest and hauling it home in a one-horse-open-sleigh.

Okay, it wasn't quite like that.  We went to a tree farm.  In town.  True to our lovely climate, we trekked through mud in the rain to find just the perfect evergreen... and then another... and then another...

The boys reminded me to see beauty in non-conformity.  I reminded them to pay attention to details.  They looked at trees their height, stringy branches reaching out to poke their cheeks. I found tall, handsome tannenbaums.  They found trees with holes from thin branches scattered unevenly.  They pointed to ones whose spines had bent against the northern wind a bit too much to stand straight.  I found ones full of even, neatly spaced bows and tall, straight trunks.

In the end, we found two trees we could agree on.  The first was at the bottom of the hill.  To take it home would require a very long hike to the top of the hill.  Wisely, we decided to wait on that one and see if there were any lovely trees nearer the top. 

 As we hiked into the thick of nobles, we found IT.  There (in a very convenient place) stood a gorgeous, full, healthy tree.  At about 8 feet tall, it was magnificent.  They boys shrieked with delight, and I sighed at finally finding one we could all agree on.  There we gathered, smiling, imagining it covered in lights... 

But enough of that.  There was a saw in my hand, and I needed to get that tree out of the forest - er, tree farm - before the rain thoroughly soaked us.

We posed for a few photos, and then I set the boys to stand back so I could cut our fresh, "live" tree for Christmas.  A few tugs back and forth on that saw, and I was huffing and puffing with very little to show for my effort.  Mud covered my cute, plaid boots and squished up onto the cuffs of my jeans.  My ski hat caught a branch, pulling my hair with it.  Without work gloves, needles were painfully sharp on my cold fingers.  Obi-2 started wandering away from the safe spot where I'd placed him to see the action up close, and I started to envision my 2-year-old crushed by a wayward falling Christmas tree. 

I finally admitted I was over my head in this adventure.  Would I be like a pioneer and cut our own tree, or head to the Boy Scout's stand and purchase one?

Well, I did neither.  Instead, I transformed from pioneer woman to damsel-in-distress.  I pulled out my cell phone, made a call to my knight in shining armor (whose office was minutes away), and begged him to take an early lunch.  Thankfully, he obliged, and cut the tree at its base with swift, strong motions.  He also made quick work of lifting, tying, binding, and securing it to our van. I only had to hand our friendly tree-farmer some change and sweetly chirp "Merry Christmas!" before we were on our way.

So, folks, there you have it.... the story of how we got our Christmas Tree. 

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,

How lovely are your branches.

it's a conspiracy, part II

Thanks for your ongoing conversation and thoughts on Advent. This is Wednesday, which means I'll share what "Works for Me." Shannon asked us writers to do things a little backwards this week... instead of sharing a tip, we're asking a question. So, here's mine...

How do you prepare for Christmas?

Specifically, how does your preparation support your values for the holiday? Do you have any special tradition that helps you or the kids focus? Do you start on a certain day, or follow any special timeline? Do you eliminate or add anything during this season?

I'm eager to hear. And, without breaking the rules, I want to share a link to an idea that has our community thinking about this question: www.adventconspiracy.org.

it's a conspiracy

We sense something is amiss. Something does not feel right. Everywhere you look it's "Christmas" season in full swing. Or is it? My earlier post got many of you commenting your own observations and frustrations. There is something not-quite-right about the season ahead.

This post begins a several-part series about advent. I'll share information & ideas from our home and community later. For now, I want to share a few questions from our hearts...

What holiday(s) do you celebrate?

How?

Why?