o mama where art thou

So, it seems I have fallen away from updating this little spot of internet. Guilt could overrun me, but there is so much going on that I can hardly take the time to feel guilty. Here's a sampling of what has kept me from blogging lately...

Gardening.

We officially have a garden this year, and it's actually producing veggies! Our lot is quite shady, with many trees. As nice as that is to hide out from the heat, it has made growing sun-loving veggies nearly impossible. In years past, I planted tomatoes in pots, hoping to keep them in the sunshine to ripen. I ended up hauling them around to different spots in the morning and afternoon, finally moving them to my neighbors' yard! This year, in a final attempt to grow my favorites, I talked Mr. Kenobi into a planter box in the one consistently sunny area of backyard. Then, we talked our neighbor into letting us trim her maple tree back so that more morning sun could get to our spot. Last week, I hauled several tomatoes over to her in appreciation!

We have lots of tomatoes, peppers, zucchini, cucumbers, peas, pole beans, and a large herb garden, and harvest season has begun!

Projects.

When my parents came out to meet Obi-3 and visit us, my dad (Papa) helped Mr. Kenobi reconfigure our deck and build new stairs. Mr. Kenobi then stripped the whole thing, and we've nearly finished staining it. Before, the deck was basically a large pass-through to the yard, and I couldn't see the kids if I was inside. Now, our deck has become an elevated part of our small landscape, and flows right out the backyard for fun times I can oversee while making dinner!

Dad also taught me to spray paint while he was here, and I'm just a bit more crafty now! At only a month into his little life, Obi-3 slept for over an 8-hour stretch. It was the first time since early pregnancy that I'd had such a nice night sleep! I woke up so energized that I pulled out two sets of chairs we'd stopped using, setup a little shop in the backyard, and began painting. Now I have "new" chairs, and we're in process of finishing the wooden seats for the white ones so that set will sit on our "new" deck.

Running Around.

With capital letters, no less. I signed the boys up for swimming lessons, which are every day around noon. It is a lot of running, but they're loving it and I'm happy to see them really learning to swim. In one summer, they've gone from reluctant to get their faces splashed to full-on crawl strokes and easy floating. Meanwhile, I sit by the side of the pool with baby Obi, and chat with other parents I would never have met otherwise.

In addition, to go with that fresh produce from our yard, we've done lots of fruit picking at local farms. Strawberries, blueberries, a few raspberries, and even peaches - and the jams, frozen fruit, and pies to go with them! Picking is all within a few miles of home, and yet so rural you can really feel like you've traveled far.

Receiving.

This is the hardest part, quite frankly. Nearly all of my summer has been filled with receiving grace, help, meals, and love from others. Why is that so hard?!? We had meals delivered for nearly a month after Obi-3 was born. We have had parties planned and hosted to celebrate our family. We've had, (as mentioned), neighbors and family help us create backyard space to enjoy together. Friends have taken the noisy older boys (another post entirely) so that I could relax, take a nap, or return to staff meetings.

Reflecting.

Honestly, it's overwhelming to receive such help. At times, I just want to be self-sufficient. I want to be able to do everything myself. To have it "together," whatever that looks like. To make fantastic homemade meals with fresh produce, and sit on freshly redone furniture in a sparkling house, and have everyone smiling after every day. I'd like to do it all, do it well, and do it all myself. It seems I'm not much better than a toddler when I think about it that way!

Truth is, I don't have it together. There are mornings that getting everyone - including myself - breakfast is a major accomplishment. There are moments when I am filled with frustration at young behavior, and have to remind myself that my children need a lot of help and grace, too. There are days when I sit down and cry because it's harder than I thought it would be to be a mama of three. There are evenings when I reflect on something from the day and think, "I should really blog this."

Some things can only be done by me, like feeding Baby Obi, blogging, or sleeping. So I think, "blog, or sleep?" And the answer to that - well, you can tell from the post lists around here... Thanks for understanding.

Love,

MamaToo