there's a vegetable in my cookie

Each summer, I seem to post a few new ways to use zucchini. Why? Well, if you're asking, you don't grow zucchini. Anyone with one (or more) zucchini plants is bound to start looking for ways to use the gignormous produce that can surprise and overwhelm an urban farmer. Hence, there are literally thousands of zucchini recipes, often including my favorite ingredient: chocolate. This is one of them (passed on to me by a friend, who made a few modifications before sharing, and then I made my own). I'm not sure where the original is found.

Chocolate Zucchini Cookies

INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour (I substituted whole-wheat pastry flour, which is just as good)
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 3/4 cups grated zucchini (after making two batches, I liked it better when the zucchini was "pureed" in a food processor & drained, but both are good)
1 C chocolate chipes

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease cookie sheets.

In a medium bowl, cream together the butter, white sugar and brown sugar until smooth. Beat in the egg and vanilla.

Separately, combine the flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt; gradually stir into the creamed mixture. Fold in the grated zucchini. Gently mix in the chocolate chips.

Drop by rounded spoonfuls onto the prepared cookie sheets.

Bake for 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheet for 5 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.

o mama where art thou

So, it seems I have fallen away from updating this little spot of internet. Guilt could overrun me, but there is so much going on that I can hardly take the time to feel guilty. Here's a sampling of what has kept me from blogging lately...

Gardening.

We officially have a garden this year, and it's actually producing veggies! Our lot is quite shady, with many trees. As nice as that is to hide out from the heat, it has made growing sun-loving veggies nearly impossible. In years past, I planted tomatoes in pots, hoping to keep them in the sunshine to ripen. I ended up hauling them around to different spots in the morning and afternoon, finally moving them to my neighbors' yard! This year, in a final attempt to grow my favorites, I talked Mr. Kenobi into a planter box in the one consistently sunny area of backyard. Then, we talked our neighbor into letting us trim her maple tree back so that more morning sun could get to our spot. Last week, I hauled several tomatoes over to her in appreciation!

We have lots of tomatoes, peppers, zucchini, cucumbers, peas, pole beans, and a large herb garden, and harvest season has begun!

Projects.

When my parents came out to meet Obi-3 and visit us, my dad (Papa) helped Mr. Kenobi reconfigure our deck and build new stairs. Mr. Kenobi then stripped the whole thing, and we've nearly finished staining it. Before, the deck was basically a large pass-through to the yard, and I couldn't see the kids if I was inside. Now, our deck has become an elevated part of our small landscape, and flows right out the backyard for fun times I can oversee while making dinner!

Dad also taught me to spray paint while he was here, and I'm just a bit more crafty now! At only a month into his little life, Obi-3 slept for over an 8-hour stretch. It was the first time since early pregnancy that I'd had such a nice night sleep! I woke up so energized that I pulled out two sets of chairs we'd stopped using, setup a little shop in the backyard, and began painting. Now I have "new" chairs, and we're in process of finishing the wooden seats for the white ones so that set will sit on our "new" deck.

Running Around.

With capital letters, no less. I signed the boys up for swimming lessons, which are every day around noon. It is a lot of running, but they're loving it and I'm happy to see them really learning to swim. In one summer, they've gone from reluctant to get their faces splashed to full-on crawl strokes and easy floating. Meanwhile, I sit by the side of the pool with baby Obi, and chat with other parents I would never have met otherwise.

In addition, to go with that fresh produce from our yard, we've done lots of fruit picking at local farms. Strawberries, blueberries, a few raspberries, and even peaches - and the jams, frozen fruit, and pies to go with them! Picking is all within a few miles of home, and yet so rural you can really feel like you've traveled far.

Receiving.

This is the hardest part, quite frankly. Nearly all of my summer has been filled with receiving grace, help, meals, and love from others. Why is that so hard?!? We had meals delivered for nearly a month after Obi-3 was born. We have had parties planned and hosted to celebrate our family. We've had, (as mentioned), neighbors and family help us create backyard space to enjoy together. Friends have taken the noisy older boys (another post entirely) so that I could relax, take a nap, or return to staff meetings.

Reflecting.

Honestly, it's overwhelming to receive such help. At times, I just want to be self-sufficient. I want to be able to do everything myself. To have it "together," whatever that looks like. To make fantastic homemade meals with fresh produce, and sit on freshly redone furniture in a sparkling house, and have everyone smiling after every day. I'd like to do it all, do it well, and do it all myself. It seems I'm not much better than a toddler when I think about it that way!

Truth is, I don't have it together. There are mornings that getting everyone - including myself - breakfast is a major accomplishment. There are moments when I am filled with frustration at young behavior, and have to remind myself that my children need a lot of help and grace, too. There are days when I sit down and cry because it's harder than I thought it would be to be a mama of three. There are evenings when I reflect on something from the day and think, "I should really blog this."

Some things can only be done by me, like feeding Baby Obi, blogging, or sleeping. So I think, "blog, or sleep?" And the answer to that - well, you can tell from the post lists around here... Thanks for understanding.

Love,

MamaToo

to coffee or not to coffee

That is the question.

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

the potential of infant insomnia and baby acne breakouts,

which may or may not be related

to a nursing mother's caffeine consumption,

Or to begin the day at half pace,

struggling to catch up to the energy and ideas

of three young boys.

And by not partaking in a morning cup?

To sleep-walk through a routine of breakfast,

eaten standing at a kitchen counter while rocking a baby,

leaving one to find herself eating that same,

though unfinished, cold toast five hours later at lunchtime.

To long for the snapping brain synapses

that only seem possible with the aid

of a full night sleep, or a cup of joe...

True confessions:

With my firstborn, Obi-1, I did not drink coffee through an entire pregnancy and the year I nursed him. Never. I even kept away from most opportunities for chocolate. As I recall, my reasoning was something about caffeine and its impact on brain development. Something like that...

With my second-born, Obi-2, I did not drink coffee during the pregnancy, nor the first month of his new life. After that, I sparingly had a cup of coffee - no more than a couple times a month. Usually this was when I met up with other, more seasoned moms while they enjoyed a beverage at our local coffee shop. My reasoning had to do with the brain development concept, as well as avoiding food sensitivities in my newborn.

This time, with Obi-3, I cut back on coffee through portions of my pregnancy. By cutting back, I mean I had a cup of coffee a few times each week. I cut it out completely mid-pregnancy, but returned to the land of the caffeinated in when my midwife said it may help me cope with allergies. I also ate chocolate liberally (I love chocolate). By late in the third trimester, I'd enjoy a homemade latte or coffee several times a week. Once Obi-3 was born, I settled back into routine. With Mr. Kenobi home from work and my parents in town recently, there was always coffee flowing every morning, and I enjoyed it daily.

This time, I reasoned that an alert and happy mama is a safer, more fun mama. Safe and fun makes it more likely that they'll have a happy childhood. You pick - brainy & pretty, or happy? I thought so!

Problem is, Obi-3 has suffered from that horrible affliction called "baby acne," which I'm told is normal, but unnerving. It leaves me wondering about the causes. One source claims that caffeine can create break-out reactions in a baby's skin. The last thing I need right now is to be the reason my poor darling is all pimply.

So, this week, I said "goodbye" to coffee. Note: I said goodbye to coffee at the same time as I said goodbye to the help and love of my parents, and goodbye to the daily attention and capable hands of Daddy Kenobi. Not. Good. Timing.

Here's the rub: Obi-3's face is looking better. Or, perhaps I'm getting so bleary-eyed that my judgement is fuzzy. Yet it does seem improved. Could a cup of coffee each day make a difference, or is it that nifty new calendula cream? I'm not sure.

Today, however, I returned to the caffeine-induced perkiness of motherhood. Honestly, I needed it to get everyone out the door and to a doctor appointment on time. The morning went well, and everyone seemed mysteriously happier.

So, now I'm musing over the days ahead: to coffee, or not to coffee? I think I'll ponder this more after I've finished my latte & brownie...

success and perspective

Some days, success is defined with a "yes" to this one simple question:

Is everyone still alive?

Today wasn't neccessarily one of those days, but it got close at times. My parents, who were here for a week, left yesterday. Mr. Kenobi, who had Obi-3's first week of life fully off from work, plus several days of vacation over the past two weeks, left early for a full and hectic week at his office.

The boys and I were truly on our own, and I was determined to try as normal as possible of a routine as I could. I'm still learning what it means to have three children, and I'm also re-learning the nuances and needs of living in Baby Standard Time. Normal days don't always include meetings or outings. However, today was the staff meeting for my part-time work, so off we went.

The morning hadn't really started well and I'd barely eaten a bite of breakfast in the midst of managing three hungry children in need of my attention. Fortunately, I get to bring my children with me to staff meetings, and at least they were well-fed. On a good day, they play and read in the adjoining room (or nuggle in my arms, in the case of Obi-3) during our meetings. Today started out as a good day, but soured sometime after Obi-1 decided to curtail the game of "Battleship" he had going with his younger brother, and Obi-2 decided to start crying and protesting loudly as Obi-3 drifted off to sleep.

I lost any profession image I might have had when we arrived. The scene drained most of the patience and remaining energy. I started the day with good intentions, but now wondered if I could keep perspective through lunchtime. Instead of cheerily leaving the meeting as a capable and well-adjusted mom, I left carrying a crying 4-year-old on one hip, a diaper bag trailing behind me, and gratefully accepting help from a friend who carried the crying baby. Uffda.

It would have been humiliating, had everyone not been so gracious. I was also so exhausted I really didn't have the energy to get embarrassed. In that loud and sad march to the minivan, I remembered why I originally left full-time employment, and why I'm grateful my family doesn't need a second full-time income during this season of life.

Once home, we regrouped. I fixed the noisy older Kenobis PB & honey sandwiches, and a "fuzzy milk" with our espresso machine as a special treat for lunch. Once everyone was eating, I made an announcement: immediately following lunch, we would have rest time - for all of us. Sometimes, the boys protest naps. Today, either they were feeling as tired as I was, or they realized that protest might send Mama beyond the end of her rope. Whatever the motivation, I received boyish cooperation at exactly the moment I needed it, which is nothing short of a divine intervention.

This is why the day wasn't the hardest I've ever faced (or probably anything to compare with what's ahead someday!) We all napped. You know that phrase, "sleep when the baby sleeps?" Let me expand that advice: Sleep whenever you can. As much as you can. Always.

I slept, Baby Obi slept, and big boys slept. It is amazing what a little rest can do to renew your patience & perspective. Our late afternoon had a fair share of challenge, but these were more private (loud protests in my home are a little kinder to my ego than the same protest in front of friends & coworkers). When Daddy got home, clearly exhausted, he had just missed our neighbor, who had brought us a delicious and satisfying meal for dinner. Wahoo!

As I write this, knowing I have little time to edit, Mr. Kenobi has begun reading the fifth book in the Little House series. He's holding a sleeping Obi-3 in his arms, I've just finished dishes, and we may have a few moments together before he tries to catch-up on a bit more work. We are all alive, and tomorrow is a new day.

he's here

Baby Fig is here!!!

Born June 20th, but I'm just getting things posted. I'm now Mama to 3 sons, and completely and hopelessly outnumbered by handsome. adoring guys around here. I love it.

For statisticians out there:

8 lb, 4oz

22 in long

14 1/2 in head (really the most important stat)

1:07 pm

Truly beautiful according to everyone.

I will try to post a couple photos when I don't have Obi-3 in my arms. For now, love to you from the Kenobis!

nope, not yet

I've never been this pregnant.

I know... one is either pregnant or not. There is no "more" or "less" pregnant. Still, I've never carried a child for this long, so I feel it's accurate to say I'm the most pregnant I've ever been. Today is one week past my due date. Rather than going through all of the reasons this should not be concerning or even abnormal, I'm just going to say this: I'm well within a healthy window of time for this pregnancy.

However, the fact that I haven't had the baby yet is concerning for many other people. Their concern is starting to give me a bit of an identity crisis. Daily, sometimes more like hourly, certain folks check in with me "just to see if anything is happening." One of these people is a relative who will definitely be called when labor begins, since we're planning on her staying with the boys. I have explained more than a few times that she needn't worry about missing the news, but still she gives us a ring just to see if there are any changes.

Here's the thing: if you're one of these people, I like hearing from you. I'm not asking for you to stop getting in touch, because I don't really mind the calls or emails. I actually like hearing from you! The identity crisis begins when there is nothing else to talk with me about, once I reply that I'm (still) not in labor. The conversation looks something like this:

(phone rings...)

Me: hello

You: hi, just checking to see if Baby Fig has arrived yet.

Me: nope. No baby today. I will let you know when it happens. I promise!

You: Really? Are you having any signs of labor at least?

... sidenote: This is sometimes phrased even more personally. I've heard things like, "Are you dilating? Are you effaced? Has the baby dropped?" I'm not sure that people (including some that I don't know very well) realize they are asking about a gynecological exam result... Seriously?

Me: Nothing to get excited about. How are you?

You: Oh, fine. Just wanted to call to see if there was any news.

Me: Oh.

You: Oh. Well, bye, then.

Here's the problem. A few weeks ago, I was an interesting person (or so I told myself). I had people call me occasionally, and they weren't asking about medical results. They, and I, found something else to talk about. When I asked them about life, they had things going on. It was... well... normal.

Suddenly, once I got close to my due date, every reason to visit with me started to fade. I now receive phone calls with a single question. People email or call other people to get an update, so a few folks seem to be designated carrier pigeons. There is no, "How're ya' doin?" with most of these friendly check-ins. There is no, "How are the boys?" There is rarely any news about their lives. It's all about my cervix, and I'm starting to get annoyed at the thought of lots of other people thinking about that too much.

In fact, the extra time has given us Kenobis a chance to get out and have some adventures while we await our littlest Obi. Lately, fewer people have stopped in our home just to chat or have a latte, so we've been sitting outside and catching the neighbors for afternoon playtimes. Since our routine of school and activities ended last week, we've enjoyed a pace of life that includes strawberry picking and museum days. These have been sweet, and given me much to visit about - if only somebody were more interested in those topics.

So, in case you were wondering: No. Baby Fig has not arrived yet. However, I am certain we will meet this little one soon. Very soon. I will not offer more details on why I'm so certain, except to remind you that no woman stays pregnant forever, even one who is this pregnant, and I'm not that exceptional.