Do you think you need to excuse your TV habits?
Hide them?
Pretend you only watch intellectually-stimulating, informative programs?
Do you coyly say, "Reality TV? What's that?"
Yeah... me neither. I really don't watch TV. :)
However, last week, I watched TV with my mom, and it was a riot. We made the most of our time, watching the season finale of two shows that I cannot believe I've lived so long without seeing before. What in the world was I doing that was so important? They were riveting, I tell you. Must. See. T.V.
The Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars...
Mom & I sat on our sofa and watched these shows and ran play-by-play commentary throughout, while Mr. Kenobi sat helplessly bored and laughing with rolled eyes. Mom & I share a cynical humor, and those shows just provided so much material!
In case you're one of those 2-dozen people who haven't seen The Bachelor (now in its 700th season, I think), here's the main plot:
One guy decides it would be fun to date 25 women.... no, wait - one guy is chosen to date 25 women. Twenty-five women decide it would be fun to quit their jobs/school/social lives for a few weeks and live with each other while dating the same guy.
Two days into the experience, half of the women realize they've found the love of their life (the aforementioned starring guy). At approximately the same moment, the guy realizes he's having a lot of fun and these women will do anything for his attention. So he pretends not to notice them, and enjoys the antics. Six weeks later, starring hottie man has sufficiently made out with 25 women, sometimes on deeply romantic group dates, and other times on highly coveted dates that the women refer to as "alone time." (Women use "alone time" to pull out all stops and bare as much anatomy as possible, hoping the guy will remember them tomorrow when he has to give out roses.)
By the end of the show (the final episode we watched together), two women have found "The One" man who is right for them in the whole-wide-world. Each spends her time imagining wedding plans and babies with this guy. Meanwhile, Mr. Right is trying to figure out how to keep the multi-woman thing alive a bit longer. (It's so desperately difficult, as you probably know, to be making out with two people on a single weekend, trying to figure out who you want to french kiss for the rest of your life.)
So, guy takes girls home to meet the family, and a lively discussion about social work and sexual attraction ensues. Grandpa brings up random references to religious affiliation, and the guy leaves still not sure who should be his bride: the one his family likes, or the one they don't? To help him decide, he enjoys one final "fantasy suite" stay with each woman, then goes for a beach run (shirtless, of course) to clear his mind. On the run, he sees several desperate women who flirt from their beach blankets, giving him clarity: there is no wrong pick! Have
fun, and somebody else will be waiting if this doesn't work out!
Relieved at the inconsequential nature of his predicament, he picks one girl for marriage. Then, in a heart wrenching moment, he sends the other one packing with a "I love you, too, but I love another girl more" speech. Finally, he asks his true love's last name just in time to propose.
Funny show. Okay, yes, it's sad. However, with the background commentary my mother & I were able to provide, it was highly entertaining. My final analysis: the only thing more boring and pathetic than watching two people make out for an hour is watching them talk about the make-out session for another hour.
In comparison, Dancing with the Stars wasn't nearly as much fun. Great dancing, lasting about 90 seconds for three couples. The rest of the two-hour show is filled with people complaining about blisters on their feet and reliving the bikini-style costumes of past weeks. I'm a dancer, mom's a dancer, and the funniest part of the show was watching Mom pull out every phone within reach and try to dial in to vote for the speed skater.
Mom is gone, so back to our own reality.
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