The nursery is a tough thing for me. When Obi-1 was born, I told a few people at church that we weren't going to use the nursery. I know my "matter-of-fact" attitude lacked grace, and even more when I repeatedly turned down requests to work in the nursery. I'm sure it was befuddling to those beautiful, kind friends at our former church, because they knew I truly wanted to serve.
For some strange reason I didn't see the obvious opening as others did. It wasn't until a pastor directly asked me to coordinate the nursery that I realized this whole "nursery thing" might be the answer I had been seeking. (Duh!?!) Needless to say, I was incredibly surprised by how well it fit, and what a gift it was.
My problem with nursery at a church was that it's generally not a ministry, but rather a necessary logistic. As parents, we often treat it as daycare. As churches, we often promote it as "Christian childcare," as if somehow a religious label changes the reality. Daycare isn't a bad thing, in fact sometimes it's a great blessing. It's just not usually a place of intentional worship, at least not in the way most of our church experiences are. Even when we have programs and literature to do "religious education," or play "religious" songs, it's still often viewed as day care. In this, I find our attitude and treatment of nursery often separates children from the worship community.
So much of scripture relates to God's concern and love throughout generations. Two passages really inspire me when thinking about nursery ministries. The first is somewhat tucked into the chapters of laws regarding how God desires his people to treat creation, each other, and Himself. The many laws can confound us, but this particular instruction gives a glimpse of how ideal gatherings might look:
“Gather the people together—men, women, children, and the foreigners living among you—so they can listen well, so they may learn to live in holy awe before God, your God, and diligently keep everything in this Revelation. And do this so that their children, who don't yet know all this, will also listen and learn to live in holy awe before God, your God…” (Deuteronomy 31:12-13, The Message)This picture sounds beautiful, but the results of trying it (as many parents can attest) can be exhausting. Seriously - that first line, "Gather... men, women, children, and foreigners," while a great picture of diversity in age, gender, ethnicity, and belief - what a challenge!
Often, church culture separates children from the main worship services, usually with good intentions. It seems more loving of children if we don't confine them in a service generally structured for adults and demand adult behavior from them. (Admittedly, sometimes it's hard enough for us adults to "behave.") And honestly, loving the diverse mix of men and women around us often is easier if our children are not a distraction to us and others. Most importantly, we sincerely want to put our focus and energy toward God, and that's a hard task if we're pulled by the needs of parenting.
A second passage gives a glimpse of reality. It is set in the context of Jesus teaching a large group, and I often picture how that may have been a very crowded, difficult place to hear such an important message. The surrounding verses actually describe how some of the disciples were trying to restrain the tiny, youngest children (and their parents) from getting in the way of the teaching. I feel a lot of compassion for the disciples, as I imagine they thought they were helping. Of course, Jesus' response probably surprised them as much as it might if we were there that day:
"Jesus called them back. "Let these children alone. Don't get between them and me. These children are the kingdom's pride and joy." (Luke 18:16, The Message)Both verses remind me of how much God loves and values children - ours, and other people's. They give me a lot to think about when it comes to a church nursery. We must be careful to follow God's call - and his lead - when incorporating children into our worship communities. In my opinion, a simple day care isn't the solution. Children who are taught to be separate from where the "real" worship happens will eventually have to be re-taught to be part of it, and that seems to say you have to be "old enough" to be ready for God. It's simply not a message He says about Himself.
However, teaching our children about God and worship (in age-appropriate ways) is a tradition passed down throughout the generations of His people. Helping parents raise their children to know the Lord and be part of the traditions in a community are also far older than modern church "programs." Making children sit still and be quiet, while perhaps possible for a few parents, doesn't seem to be the answer to introducing children to a dynamic God, either. These are sacred responsibilities and honors, and I think it's possible for our nursery ministries to be a piece of the puzzle.
So, I'm the new Nursery Coordinator at our little church, and I know that will mean a lot of work ahead. More importantly, it will mean a lot of prayer for these children, the parents, the community as a whole, and especially for me to be humble and loving. It will, hopefully, be a great way to minister to others in my community, from church members to those who are simply passing through.
Most of all, I hope it will be one of the ways my own children, my friends, and my neighbors see my faith lived out in their midst. Imperfect, for sure, but better than just talk.
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